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My 1st fanfic

 
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Was it good? and did ya enjoy the read? (and no I will not leave a "that was great option"
Yeah it was good, pretty average I guess
100%
 100%  [ 1 ]
No, not very well written (insert errors here)
0%
 0%  [ 0 ]
MY GAWD SO MANY ERRORS SO SUCKISH MY EYE BURN!!!!
0%
 0%  [ 0 ]
Total Votes : 1

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tinypickle
Intermediate


Joined: 09 Nov 2008
Posts: 154

PostPosted: Tue Jun 29, 2010 10:14 pm    Post subject: My 1st fanfic Reply with quote

I'm a terrible writer, but a good daydreamer, I like my ideas but i have difficulty getting them down on paper. I just wanted to see if i could do it.
Anyway, my fanfic.



(Name in progress)




*thud*
"Wuh"? What's going on? I said as I groggily got up from what seemed like an eternity of sleep.
"Get up, we've been called to duty" said a voice in the darkness, whoever it was had a strong arm, between my long sleep and him knocking me upside the head I was barely able to make it out of the room. As I left the room, I noticed that there was no sound of breathing coming from the other bunks on the other side of the wall, that must mean they were already called for duty. As me and my "buddy" began walking down the dimly lit hallway I started to remember where I was. I am Koaki, a soldier of a regular scout battalion. My personal memories were still foggy, but I guess those aren't that important at the moment. Then after a mere 10 meters or so, we finally reached our destination, it was a large room with many other soldiers that had the same dazed and confused look like I did. However there were a few higher ranked soldiers who actually looked like they knew what they were doing. I approached one and told them my name. He responded with a few orders of how to get to my meka and to be ready to deploy to a planet in five minutes. Then, I guess my soldier instincts kicked in and I was off expertly following the corridors to the garage to my meka. When I got to the garage, I approached a mechanic to ask him which meka was mine. He pointed to a large quadrupedal monster with a nastily looking missile launcher. I then quickly found my way to the head and got into the rather tight cockpit. The Mechanic then activated a tractor beam crane to lift my meka and drag it to the drop platform. I was surprised to notice I was not the first one there, two others had beaten me here, no doubt probably not fresh from a long sleep. One was low to the ground with dual ballistic cannons, the other was around the same size as mine with a large energy cannon. Then a large speaker off to my left came to life "you three have been chose this deployment as a scout force on aldus." You will receive no support outside one another for anything more is a disgrace to our army. You will be picked up at the same location in approximately 120 turns of the time gear. Goodluck and destroy our enemy.And with that little speech over, the floor engulfed us and we began to fall towards the planets in the drop pod the floor created, the ride was bumpy but I was oddly used to it.


In just five turns of the time gear, we were on a planet, aldus I think the speaker had said. A dusty planet with nothing but sand, sand, some ore, and sand. From the communicator, I heard a deep and guttural voice on the communicator "Hey you rookie, get over there and shoot that lone eye probe that just spotted us. Then I snapped into action, I put full throttle on my meka to chase down the lone eye, though I sort of knew it was hopeless, lone eyes are impossibly fast and agile, the pilot would have to make an error for me to catch it with my heavily armored meka. But we can't just let it stick around and take data on us, so I press on only to have it quickly fade away into the distance. The other mekas began to catch up with me. With a different and a tad more pleasant voice on the radio "What to do now Gorgg"? The first voice responded "Split up, look for enemies, and destroy them." I made a mental grimace at the comment, it is never that simple. But I had no other choice, this Gorgg guy was most likely a higher rank to me due to the fact if I had a good rank I would probably remember it right now, so I started off in a different direction then the others. After around 40 gear turns with nothing happening, I checked in with my comrades, both responded with a negative on any enemy visual. A thought then occurred to me, so did anyone tell us what an enemy would look like? The fact that I didn't know began to worry me so I secretly started heading back towards the others. 20 "turns" later, I felt I was close enough to my teammates so I started traveling in a parallel direction as one of them.


40 turns later I heard the first voice on the radio. "Graaah, enemy meka spotted, It is a large bipedal unit with several missile launchers and strange blue swirls on its body. I am rushing it, get into the fight before I destroy it. Hahaha" I responded with a quick grunt and began speeding my meka in the fights direction. I began to think to myself, what kind of information was that? Next he'll tell me what color the ore is, idiot I need more USEFUL information on my enemy. Using the camera on Gorgg's meka, I turned one of my screens to show his view of combat. Damn, a Dark Inquisitor meka? Why the hell is he rushing it with his energy cannon? He should have retreated and waited for us. Halfway to the battle, I joined up with my other comrade, as I got into close range radio frequency of the other meka, I noticed for the first time, that the second voice was female. She was faintly whispering "don't die don't die don't die...." I merely kept silent, I didn't want her noticing I was "eavesdropping. We finally got to Gorgg's aid, when we arrived, he was at sixty-two percent shields with the enemy mech still to far for his energy gun's reach. I switched back to our frequency said "Get back over here Gorgg, let him try to chase you down then switch directions then you can go toe to toe with him all you want". He quickly responded "Shut up, I don't need any advice from a half asleep rookie like you, C'mon Zerthia surround that thing from the other side and smash him into me". I made another mental grimace and decided to follow Zerthia judging it being a Dark Inquisitor an expensive meka design mostly for commander ranks or higher, Zerthia is more important ally to support then Gorgg was since her weapons were anti commander shells designed to blow out the cockpit for increase effectiveness versus commanders rather than regular soldier mekas. As we all rushed the Dark inquisitor I was the first to get into range, I fired three volleys of missiles before having to reload. With the Dark Inquisitor being primarily an armor reliant unit, Its bright blue shields flashed before the onslaught of missiles and faded away. The enemy meka quickly spun around for a return volley of its own missiles, I attempted to dodge to the right but the missiles were already on me by the time I could change direction. The high explosive missiles that a dark inquisitor uses are much more powerful and more numerous then my own missiles, but unlike the Dark inquisitor, my shields held strong but it still took a toll, my computer told me my shields were down to fifty-eight percent. However, It seemed the Inquisitor had stuck around to get a well aimed shot at me which gave gorgg and Zerthia the perfect chance, they both rushed close to the enemy meka and blasted away from near point-blank range. The damage was devastating, High explosive cannons rent apart the poor meka's Arm missile launchers while Grogg's energy cannon actually split into two beams to melt away the mekas legs. Defeated, the meka's front window seemed to stare at the dusty sky as if to say It looks like I'll be there soon. I stared at the pool of acid, plasma, and twisted metal and dealt a finishing blow by stepping on the remains where the driver should be. "Next time" I said "don't come alone."


The remainder of the mission was uneventful, however, I had gained the respect of my fellow warriors, Gorgg commented on my "ruthlessness" while Zerthia thanked me for taking that missile volley that would have probably got through Gorgg's shields. As we talked, I finally got around to telling them my name, however, Gorgg is going to stick with rookie, just a tad longer. As we approached the dropzone where we had started, I began to wonder, will I ever get my personal memories back? Or should I just live my life as a warrior and armored paladin for my allies. My thoughts were then interrupted by Gorgg "Hahaha, we got a kill this mission, this deserve's the army's battle cry" I agreed so I responded "Ok, one, two, three" We all shouted to the heavens "WE ARE SHAK 'AR, WHERE THERE IS LIFE, WE BRING DEATH".

~~~~~~(squiggle)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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